[un] Introduction; or, How I Started My First Blog

Welcome to Sephorrifying!, a blog experiment that I've begun in order to chronicle my time as a cast member at Sephora. While the title seems to be completely negative, this blog will not be limited to (but will more than likely include) horror stories about working at what has become known as The Beauty Authority. With this blog, I intend to share all of the beauty knowledge that I gain from working at Sephora, keep you updated on what's coming up, and give you an in-depth look at the store and company from the other side of the counter.

Working at Sephora has been an incredible learning experience for me so far. While I haven't been there long (coming up on a year, now) I have to say that, without a shadow of a doubt, this is probably one of the best retail jobs I'll ever manage to score. Granted, my hope is that this is the last retail job I score, but that's another story for another blog. Sephora, through my co-workers and the professional makeup artists/skin care consultants that are brought in every week to teach us something new, has turned me from a tomboy with bad skin into a slightly less tomboyish (but still brash, charismatic, and charming) young lady (with soft, tender, gorgeous skin) who knows more about makeup and skin care than even the most seasoned older women. Armed with that knowledge, I'm now going to spread it across the farthest reaches of the internet, for the sake of beauty enthusiasts everywhere. Or, at the very least, for people like me who still think that lipstick smells like helium (but won't let that stop them from making themselves look nice).

With that, let's jump right into our very first topic; one feared by most first-time Sephora visitors and the stingiest of clients..

THE MOST TERRIFYING THING
TO HIT THE BEAUTY INDUSTRY
SINCE CARROT ORANGE BRONZER..

Oh, come on, guys. It's harmless!
(Look, it's even kind of cute.)

That's right; BEAUTY INSIDER, Sephora's Number One Client Incentive Program. I won't lie and tell you that it isn't there to bring you back with all of it's wonderful, deceptive perks, but if you'll indulge me for a second, I'm going to explain exactly what this thing does and why it will not (contrary to popular belief) go into your wallet in the middle of the night and ruthlessly slaughter all of your credit cards, leaving of mess of self-loathing and chopped up plastic for you to wallow in.

(Sorry, guys. I really enjoy going into deep description when it comes to the misfortune of owning a credit card.)

To keep things simple, I'm going to detail this with a list of pros and cons for you to sort through.

First, the Pros:

• Every time you spend money (in-store or online at Sephora.com), you're awarded a point for every dollar spent before taxes. When you get one-hundred points in your "Beauty Bank", you're given a choice of three free gifts to add into your bag.
• Whenever your birthday rolls around, you're given another gift. This year's gift is a Sephora brand lip gloss set. Oh, yes.
• Every once in a while, Sephora holds events where Beauty Insiders are given discounts off of their purchases. Just a few weeks back, clients were able to bring in e-mails with barcodes on them that took 15% off of their total purchases. There are tons of in-store events that Insiders get first dibs on, as well: for example, around the end of last year, Insiders were allowed into the store about two hours before opening time to shop at 20% off. These events usually inlude makeovers, live DJs, and most importantly -- free food.
• Beauty Insiders have access to a ton of items before they are put on the shelves -- at discount prices.
  
• It's free, it's not a credit card, it doesn't expire, and it will never, ever charge you for anything.
  

And now, the Cons:

• You will recieve e-mails from Sephora. But, but, but! Most of these e-mails are worth paying attention to, because they detail those special events and ~*~*~*~discounts~*~*~*~ (I don't know if you caught that, so I decided to make it a little more loud/obnoxious looking) that I mentioned earlier. If you don't want to see them in your inbox, mark them as spam or junk mail and periodically check your junk mail folder for anything special.
• .. that's about it, actually. I hate to sound biased, but there aren't very many horrible things to say about Beauty Insider. I do get clients who say they can't carry any more cards, but honestly, the thing comes on a keychain and is paper-thin. If you don't want it, just say "no thanks", because it saves you the hassle of our required questions, such as:

"Oh? Did you lose it? I can look it up for you."
"Would you like the keychain instead?"
"Would you like to sign up, then?"

It is a horrible, long process and no one, client, cast member, or otherwise, is happy to endure it.

That, in a nutshell, is Beauty Insider. It's designed specifically to reward you for spending money with Sephora and keep you coming back, but it isn't half as bad/evil/brain-washing as many think it might be.

In short: We are not here to turn you into beauty-obsessed drones covered in caked-on foundation and helium-flavored lipstick. Our main goal (outside of keeping the company afloat during times where we've had to plug the holes with gobs of lip balm and quick-drying facial masks) is to advise our clients on how to take care of themselves and give them a little extra perk for doing so. I promise you.

Though, now that I think of it, the idea of Sephora creating an army of brainwashed clients to take on Wall Street, the Economy, and the occasional monster plaguing Manhattan doesn't seem too shabby at all..

At any rate, stay tuned for future blog entries, where I'll be detailing upcoming products and teaching you how to use them. Also included: cash wrap horror stories, such as "Twenty Individual Returns at Midnight".

This is Sephora's Number One Charisma Machine, over and out.